Well I made it back to Seattle to be with my sister. It is so nice to just be here, away. My kids are having a great time with their cousins & Amber has made a new friend. The trip up here was anxiety filled as the weather was not on our side. It started out smooth & easy but by the time we hit Sacremento, it was cold & raining, HARD. It took 11ish hours to get to Redding (normally around 8 hours). The next morning we woke up to even colder rain. We hit the Cascade mountain range & had to chain up. Being from southern california, I must say we looked the sight. Finally when we figued out we had no idea of what the hell we were doing, we sought out help. By then they lifted the chain requirment & got on the road. Not that is wasn't still scary, it was!!! After we traveled about 1.5 hours we came to lower elevation & it was BEAUTIFUL. Absolutly goregous country. We saw so many rainbow & I thought of my dear Alexa every time. After 8 hours of driving we pull into the metro Portland area, only to be traveling on ice. Very slippery ice! We get off they highway & literaly slip & slide to our hotel. It was very frightening. So much so, we crazy californians, walked to dinner instead of driving, as we have no idea how to drive on ice!!! (This was a really bad storm folks. I will post pics later. In fact at our hotel, our neighbor lived only 5 miles from the hotel but could not get home, due to so much ice!!) The next morning, I was to meet my MDC friends, Jackie & Korin, but it could not happen. While us on the west side were beginning to thaw, they were still iced in. By the time their iced would melt, we really needed to be on the road. A missed chance but that is ok, we will have time to meet again. We arrive safely in Seattle 3 hours later. I am with my sister. I miss my baby. I have my older children. I have my husband. I am trying not to weep. I am looking for the good in my life. I am trying. I am.......whoo..... It is hard. Two beautiful baby girls have been born into my life this weekend. I am happy for them, but sad for me. It is alot to process. They have what I lost. That hurts. I need to not think of me. It is hard. It is hard.