Tonight I am really really sad again. Just overwhelming sadness. It is two months since Alexa was born still. TWO MONTHS! I am just missing her pretty hard. I keep thinking her personality would be starting to develop now. Dh was asking if she would be consciencly smiling. Yeah, she could be. That is a hard realization. We are now going to start missing milestones, first smile, first giggle. So not fair.
Contacted my kids school today. That was a hard one. I need to make sure they will get the emotional support they need there. The principals exact words were they were very shocked & sadded by our baby's death, and that they were looking forward to enjoying our newborn baby too. Man that just made me bawl. Not that I really know these people, I do not, but we are envolved in each others life. To know that no matter how little you know a person, to know that they care & are heart broken like us, just makes me feel, oh I can not think of words. But I feel something that is for sure. I guess I feel their kindness. I also ran into a mom from Amber cheer program last year. I do not think anyone knows from there. I told her & started bawling, in the middle of Mervyns. This story goes into a small world story. Turns out she works @ the birth center. She knows my friend, & the pain that she went through when Alexa died. Man oh man what a small world. Anyway she is going to tell cheer people for me. That is nice, for I hate being in public & having to tell people. I would rather run into them, if they already know, than have to explain it over & over.