Wow what an emotional roller coast ride this is!! There are times when I am so DAMN ANGRY, I just want to hurt something, like I hurt. Then I am so sad, because I miss my little girl. I miss her so much it hurts, & then it turns to ANGER! I feel like it is driving me CRAZY!! Right now I keep thinking I should have a baby to hold & love, but I do not, yet I grew one. I grew a beautiful baby inside me, I did everything right. I ate well, took my supplements, went to the doctor & midwife. In retrospect, I had two times the normal prenatal care & she died. She is gone. Just like the breathe we exhale, she is gone. Never to come back. So not fair. I am MAD!!! I want my baby. How dare God take her from me???? Why did this happen?? What can I do to make myself feel normal & happy again??? I keep think I should be changing diapers, nursing a baby, staying up all night, having fun bath times. But I do not. I feel cheated. Why did I go through pregnancy to not have a baby? I do not get it.