Today I have been very confused & lost. I weep. I sigh. I have no idea what to do with myself. I am confused. There are no answers. I want my baby back, DAMN IT! And I can not have her. I have been robbed, cheated, let down. I think of all the could of beens, and I cry. This hurts so DAMN BAD! I do not know how I am going to survive.
We went and saw Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, and Amadala dies from losing the will to live, because she lost her love. Well I understand that. I lost my love, my darling Alexa & I feel no hope right now. None. Zero. I can not see my future. What am I to do? What purpose do I have? It is all mixed up. I am very thankful for my other two children, but I am fixated on what I lost. I was so looking forward to having a baby again & that is gone. Yes, we can try for another & hopefully we will have another one. But I WANTED this one!! My Alexa Rose. I wanted her. Why did she get taken??? Why? Why? How do I go on? How do I breathe?? Will I ever live again, or will I weep forever???