Regret & Guilt
These two words keep coming into my mind. I regret my choices of childbirth for Alexa. Did my stubborness & beliefs contribute to her death. If I had not chosen homebirth & stayed with standardized medical care, would she still be alive?? Then the guilt comes. I do not have any answers. I am looking for answers. I feel blame. I blame myself to much. This is very hard.
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